MISERABLE SLASHED EYEBROW

 

I’ve always thought that I am Almighty. That no one could ever make me feel the same way I did when I broke up with a domestic partner a couple of years ago.

I almost thought I was indestructible and capable of handling things as plain as they were. I thought I can get the love of whosever love I want to get with just some sheer charm coupled with a blunt humor.

Now, I seem like someone who just begs to get noticed. I am suffering right now. Suffering from the immeasurable self-disgust that I’m feeling from misinterpreted gestures. It hurts when I slowly realize how futile and inadequate my efforts are to gain one’s attention to finally having someone be called “mine”.

A year ago, I’ve been so hostile. I didn’t entertain the idea that I am in the way of having a then budding relationship that is now breaking my heart since it will never happen anytime soon. I am more regretful with the idea that I didn’t give myself a chance to know the character. I am more of a wreck right now than anyone else in this room.

Nah. Never been mine. I just thought it was on that direction, but no. I was expecting too much, maybe. Hehe. A realization:

“If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn’t choose to rest in the other person’s heart…”

“…The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead becomes someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away…” [Thanks to LEAN's latest blog entry]

It’s just OUCH for me right now.

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At some point in our lives,
We meet wonderful people.
So wonderful that we fall for them,
and think that they feel the same way too.
But the truth is… they are just nice.

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I will never be hostile again. =’(