the jury OVER Substance & Looks

Looks are superficial. We all know that fact. But however deep we do know about it and however a cliché it is to everybody, superficiality is simply in the blood.

I have forever dreamt of wearing at least a medium-sized pair of pants (28″-30″), but man, I still struggle reaching 32″ after almost ten years of massive reduction. Yeah, I lost seventy-seven pounds and that chum, is a whole lot.

Still, I dream of having the matinee idol waist line [spare me the looks, ‘coz that’s really impossible =P] that I could ever be proud of. I may be 5′10″ in height but I still feel really WIDE. It of course results to my depression. Wahaha.

I met a guy who, at his early 20’s is already a powerhouse of confidence. He always butts in with full conviction in an “I’m-not-cute-I’m-gorgeous!” attitude. I know he could pass as a print model at least [But why do other people with drop-dead looks tend to stay more humble than those guys who were just blessed with some enhancements? Maybe because they never needed anyone’s confirmation that they are being liked/loved. And so DO I! But that’s beside the point] I am still affected by the sore fact that I am not even close to the epitome of charisma.

There’s a great feeling in me that makes me think that something like lack of a sharp nose and chisel-shaped chin can contribute to your lesser chances on landing to a perfect place in the office… or the society , in general.

I don’t know, but I feel that people just get interested with you when you look exemplary good-looking… Not that I am bitter about it, but it’s just not sooooo…. Er… Catholic? [=p]

I just noticed that those who are easily loved are the ones who have smoother skin, almond-shaped eyes and SLIM-toned bodies without even lifting a finger [even after hearing one’s Carabao English and nose-picks a LOT].

Why do people of my caliber, that considers myself the average-type, who at the very least is a law-abiding citizen, a tax-payer [BIR yuhoo! fyi!] and someone who values family [understatement] and friends so much tend not to get the accolades being sought-after by many? LOOKS over SUBSTANCE, this is a forever battle of superficiality.
One thing that this guy I was talking about mentioned that almost dropped me off my chair was: “I’m gaining weight quickly, and that’s shameful to my friends”. *dang* When did getting a bit heavier become taboo?

Now, are looks a huge basis of true and never-fading love?

If your answer is YES, then you’re the ULTIMATE SUPERFICIAL SELFISH SKIN-DEEP ANIMAL!

But in fairness to the YESes, who says all is fair in love anyway? =P

Now, to answer the question why I don’t seem to get what many others are rooting for is just simple — MAYBE I ALREADY HAVE IT, I just didn’t know! *winks* [That’s the spirit! Bwahaha!]

that is PREPOSTEROUS!

To be or not to be…

I am not gorgeous enough to have my own billboard… not even a flyer.

In fairness, I have a tvc of old. Haha. It’s just that I was still a toddler back then. No traces of it anymore. Bwahaha.

830pm.Diner’s Dreemhaus.Malate. [Where place looks way better than the website, fyi =p] One of my closest school org-mates was asking me if I have been posting for a billboard project recently. I almost threw up the food that I was eating. “Are you kidding?”. That was the most bizarre thing that could ever happen to me. See equation:

me + modeling = blah.

Later that night, this same friend told me that another friend was contacting me to ask if I was that guy on the billboard in Magallanes. :0 Now, that sounds really weird. Who’s been using my pics without me earning a single centavo from it? Haha

I know I don’t even have half the quality to be striking a pose for a fashion photog. Bwahahaha. That’s preposterous and I just wanna make it clear that I’ve been working in the advertising industry for awhile but I’ve never even sub-modeled [not even for lighting purposes] in my life. Haha.

Just last night, a friend who’s not been around for a long time messaged me through Y! Chat if I have modeled with kids in a billboard posted in SM MegaMall.

Fart!

I asked one bestfriend to check it out for me — not that she’s skeptical about it, but of course, who in the right mind shall do such an obscene gesture in one of, if not the biggest mall in the country?

That’s it, I wanna see the image and go to the prosecutor’s office to file legal action against anybody who’s been posting/emulating my face. [Wishful thinking that someone even cares to imitate me - skank!]

But hey, this may be a good opportunity for me to brag the billboards off to everyone who are unfamiliar of me. Haha. I can have my own “claim-to-fame” [though I dont know what this guy's been advertising all along] that I have experienced being hung up there in superhighways and huge malls.

All I got to do right now is prepare myself to see if the guy on the ad is worth hanging on a billboard — or a rope. =P

SUMMER = Envy

I’ve been staring to a million and one resort images for the past 8 mos and I never got to see even one in person.

This maybe, is the irony of working as a web designer. Your knowledge of the things that you directly work with is just far from empirical experience.

Argh.. I need a vacation! HUMDRUM. Yeah, that’s what I am feeling right now.

I just want to see myself exceling and learning new things in fields that are dominated by others, may it be familiar to me or otherwise. To begin with, I wanna learn how to SWIM PROPERLY! At least, this talent would affect me when I begin to build my dreams on being hailed as a swim champ. Bwehehe.

Haha.

I wanna see myself in videos where I fly underwater and gain phase by just some simple arm-foot combos.

I knew it. SUMMER brings envy; Envy to other people who are frolicking right now in the beaches that I only see in pictures. Students who just finished the entire academic year and are only waiting to get a “tan”. I bet this is the effect of the images I stare at all the time.

Good thing is, next week would be Holy Week and Holy Week means HOLIDAYS! This season of Lent is something I look forward to each and every year. Of course, this is a sure ball non-working HOLIweek that extends up to another, what do you know, HOLIDAY! Wuhoo… APRIL 9th. A local holiday. Yeah, this happens rarely.I gotta buy swimming paraphernalia – surfboard shorts; shades; visors; and…

Get the tan of my life. Kidding.

I dont wanna get toasted…. I look like a native swine whenever I grill myself under the sun.

One thing for sure, I would be checking out at least one beach this super break and be the IAN THORPE that I dreamt of and squeeze out my unharnessed gills and fins…. =P